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What is Self-love Not?

Updated: Aug 2, 2022

Your Weekly Self-Love Note:​

My question for you today is, “what is self-love not?”

We talked a bit last week about what self-love is but it’s important to know what it is not so that we can recognize those patterns in ourselves.

Self-love is not:

  • Breaking agreements with yourself - we’re often more likely to break agreements with ourselves than with others and that wreaks havoc on our psyche.

  • Not taking time off - you need time off, you need mental health days, and you need time alone to recharge.

  • People pleasing - are you busy pleasing other people before you please yourself? This is a very unhealthy addiction.

  • Putting yourself down - ‘I will never be enough,’ ‘I messed up again,’ ‘I don’t look as good as I should,’ ‘I always seem to make that mistake.’ You wouldn't say some of these things to your worst enemies, so why the hell are you saying them to yourself?

  • Apologizing for everything - you are not a mistake! Stop apologizing for things you cannot control.

  • Judging yourself for your mistakes - mistakes are just opportunities to get better at something.

  • Learn to say no - Are you able to say no to people? That's a hard one right? But to have self-love, you have to learn how to say no when it's not something that you want to do or somewhere you want to be. You have a voice - don’t be afraid to use it.

  • Struggle to take compliments - you are beautiful, you are amazing, and you have amazing talents and skills. You deserve to love yourself and to put yourself first. Learn how to accept yourself for who you are and learn how to accept compliments with a genuine heart. That is self-love.

I encourage you to think about some other ways that you're not loving yourself and reflect on why. Because at the end of the day darling, you are enough.

Have a great week!

Love Nic

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